Jason Gillespie should get the band back together to coach Yorkshire

Pot to pee in: Yorkshire defy financial hardship to hire Jason Gillespie and other coaches. PHOTO: GETTY

Jason Gillespie has returned to Yorkshire County Cricket Club as the first-team coach. He joins what the Aussie will no-doubt be calling a “leadership unit” that includes captain Andrew Gale, Development Manager Richard Damms, Martin Moxon as Director of Cricket, Ian Dews as Director of Cricket development, Paul Farbrace as Second Team Director and, if talks go well, Michael Vaughan as Artistic Director (Paintball).

Jason promises: “The one thing I'll be bringing to Yorkshire is a bit of fun and enjoyment, but making sure our preparation is spot on and leaving no stone unturned” which is kind of four things, really, but you don’t take 259 Test wickets by mincing about with a calculator and a slide-rule, do you?

In the spirit of Yorkshire’s new “if it moves, hire it” approach to coach recruitment, one hopes there will be jobs for the boys from Jason’s all-conquering Aussie team.

Yorkshire is, of course, God’s Own County, and as such it needs God’s Own Opening Batsman, Matthew Hayden to teach Adam Lyth, Joe Root and company the dark arts of chewing gum aggressively, swearing with your arms folded and bullying opponents. If some of them go on to set up slightly frightening web-based life coaching businesses of their own, then so much the better.

With the advances of illegal bookmakers an ever-present danger in all forms of cricket, a genuine expert is needed to help keep Yorkshire’s lads out of their clutches. Mark Waugh must be brought in as a consultant without delay. He will need an office; perhaps in a private box at Pontefract Racecourse.

However, there must be no place for brother Steve Waugh, whose well-known disdain for Nightwatchmen might have deprived Coach Dizzy of his finest hour had he still been captain. Very early in his career, Jason attempted to secure the future for nightwatchmen everywhere by eliminating the elder Waugh with a brave headlong dive. He got a broken leg for his troubles, but 17 years later, Gillespie had the last laugh by bashing 201* against mighty Bangladesh in Chittagong after coming in at first-drop. Any Yorkshire side of Jason’s will feature at least three nightwatchmen, with a long-term view to playing only specialist number nines from 1-11.

All that is needed to complete the jigsaw is to secure Glenn McGrath as a co-coach, so he can get all the attention and leave Jason to go quietly about his business, and the glorious age of Dizzy can begin.