Remembering Myra Kraft

The best story about Myra Kraft to emerge among the touching remembrances following her death this week after a long battle with cancer came from her son Jonathan. He recalled how his mom, during a family trip to South Africa in the era of apartheid, demanded that a white police officer who was taking black men into custody arrest her, too. Jonathan remembered his dad, the Patriots owner Robert K. Kraft, telling him not to let his mother get in trouble. So he threw his mom, a petite woman, over his shoulder and hauled her away.

Robert Kraft’s office in Gillette Stadium is decorated with pictures of him with celebrities (there is a dazzling photograph near the door of him dancing with Jacqueline Kennedy), but the ones behind his desk, closest to him, are huge portraits of his family. Robert and Myra met as college students and Myra knew nothing of football until her husband bought the Patriots. Myra was raised in privilege herself, and then used the team’s fame and success to enhance her own vast philanthropic efforts.

She became a fixture around the Patriots, sitting next to her husband and children at games, and the outpouring of grief from former and current Patriots players speaks to how much of a presence she became in their lives. Curtis Martin, the former Patriots and Jets running back, told a story about how when he was sick of eating out, Myra gave him homemade soup. She was at the center of the pregame parties her husband threw, and was waiting outside the locker room for him when the games were over. She was far more than a cheerleader, though, so central to her husband’s decision-making that when she famously objected in 1996 after the Patriots drafted Christian Peter, who had a history of violence against women, he was quickly cut. Last week, Dan Shaughnessy of The Boston Globe called her the conscience and soul of the Patriots.

During the final months of his wife’s life, Robert Kraft shuttled between intensive N.F.L. labor negotiations and home, rarely staying away from Myra for more than a day while maintaining his role as one of the most influential owners in the N.F.L. Assuming a deal is approved by players in coming days, the season will soon start and the Patriots will again be favorites to win many games. But one person close to Robert Kraft wondered how he would be without Myra.

One lingering grace note summed up how deep her loss cuts: even in conversation with reporters, Robert usually referred to Myra as “my sweetheart.”